If only I could kill
by Blaysers
Summary: A psychopath. Two lovers. A sin. Dreams that never end, or do they? Now, some of you might go, why should I read something that tells me so little? Well give it a try and see what you think. Sometimes little told makes something all the more exciting. I don't think you'll be disappointed. Please R&R. Don't forget to enjoy it. Rating may go up.
1. Chapter 1

**I am going to repay all you guys with a new story. I am so sorry about how bad my other stories are turning out and I promise to do my best to perfect them.**

* * *

_ Am I __falling? _

Onodera tossed around in his bed, his blanket holding him in a death hold.

_Onodera closed his eyes as he fell. It was somehow peaceful, like a whimsical dream. The sounds of his clothes ruffling as the wind caught them and the fell of his hair flying off and on his face was pleasant. But then his eyes snapped open and he panicked. Where's the ground? Why am I falling? Onodera"s limbs thrashed around wildly as he fell. He could see the ground. It was coming, it's coming, it's coming! He could see all of Tokyo below him. Falling faster than he thought he was, he saw a building rush down his side. He looked at the windows, showing him his frightened face like a water reflection. He looked down again and saw the street. 5, 4, 3, 2,... Onodera let out a terrified scream as he was just about the hit the busy road._

_...  
_

Onodera jolted out of bed, his brown hair sticking to his clinging to his skin. He looked around wondering who was screaming, but noticed that it was him. He covered his mouth, unable to stop the scream echoing from behind his hand. He stood up after a long time of calming himself down, and went to the kitchen. Clumsily filling a glass with water and pouring it down his throat, he sat down at his table and held his head in his hands. Not long after, he heard a pounding on his door.

"Onodera, let me in!" Takano's infamous voice yelled at him. Onodera reluctantly got up and dragged himself to the door. He unlocked the latched the locks, hands still shaking, and opened the door a crack. Takano's face came into view and he pushed the door open, storming in.

"Why the hell would you be screaming at 4:00 o'clock in the morning?" he shouted. Onodera looked away and sighed.

"I'm sorry." he answered. It was only then that Takano notice how shaken Onodera looked.

"Hey, what's wrong?" his voice changing completely to a calm, softer tone.

"N...nothing." Onodera stutter and automatically ashamed by it.

"Then why would you scream like you did?" Takano asked, his voice becoming stern.

"I just want to go back to bed. I'll see you tomorrow." Onodera said quickly and shut the door as fast as humanly possible before his boss could react. Locking all the locks, he dashed to his room and dived into his bed. Pulling the covers over his head, he shoved his face into pillow.

"_You will pay for your sins. That was only a teaser. I will destroy everything about you and trust me, your death will be far worse than that." a macabre voice sang out to him. _

Onodera froze for a moment, but slowly raised his head.

"Who's there?" he asked. When there was no answer, he laid back down feeling incredibly feverish. He closed his eyes and automatically fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

A next chapter sneak peek:

Takano had been waiting at Onodera's door, tapping his foot with impatience. After a half hour, he was quite antsy and wanted nothing more than to see Onodera. He wanted to see his "lover" to make sure was alright. Impatience getting the better of him, he banged on the door. After banging on the door for two minutes, he took out the keys he was "borrowing" from Onodera. Jamming the keys into the door, he strolled in.

"Onodera?" he asked furiously as he ventured down the hall. Still no answer. Takano crept up to the what he figured was Onodera"s room, but instead met a bathroom. He looked at the last room in the hall and opened it slowly.  
"Ritsu?" he asked but then gasped. " Ritsu!"

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** Left you awesome people with a cliffhanger. Please tell how to perfect the story or possible idea's I could use for the next chapter. I have a basic idea but for you sadistic minds, tell me your ideas. Sorry for errors.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay people. I'm trying to write this story on my iPod for the first time so there will be ALOT of errors. I would use the computer if my sister wasn't busy HOGGING it. But enough about me, let's start the story already.**

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"Onodera?!" Takano gasped. Onodera wasn't in his bed or in the house from what Takano could see. _He's has to be here! I haven't slept at all , not since Onodera screamed. I didn't hear him come out of his house either, so where could he be? _

"Onodera! Get your lazy ass out where I can see you!" Takano yelled as he ran through the house. Takano growled in defeat and stomped out the apartment.

_Maybe he did leave, and I just didn't notice it. _

Takano stomped his way to elevator and pushed the button to the last floor. Crossing his arms and tapping his foot in steady pattern. When he finally reached the last floor, he ran out of the elevator and out of the building. He decided to speed walk his way to the subway as he pulled out his phone.

"Onodera!" he yelled into the phone. "Pick up!"

"Hello?" a tired voice answered.

"Where are you?" he asked, trying to go back to being the composed person he normally was.

"At work," Onodera replied. "Everyone else is panicking because of the deadlines."

"I'll be there soon." Takano said as he threw the phone into his work bag.

_Today's going to be a very long day._

* * *

By the time Takano had finally arrived, everything was back to normal. Everyone was sitting at their desk, they were either on phones or typing away at their laptops. Takano glanced at Onodera who seemed to be fine, except for his eye brows twitching in irritation every few seconds. Recently, Onodera had pierced one of ears. Every time Takano saw it, he couldn't help but think how unnatural it looked on his cute little "lover". Takano slumped down into his seat and started going through the pile of papers on his desk.

After work:

Takano had just finished torturing Onodera with more and was getting ready to leave. Only Onodera and him were left, since everyone left the very moment they had the chance. Onodera also starting to pack up, putting the rest of work he had into in his work bag.

"Oi, Onodera." Takano walked over to Onodera and looked at the brunette. Onodera hadn't been looking at him all day, even when he talked to him. Onodera kept his head down and walked past Takano. His attempt's to get away were futile. Takano followed closely and the younger panicked. Onodera started running, Takano ran after him.

"Hey, what's your problem?" Takano asked as he caught Onodera's arm. Takano raised Onodera's arm above head trying to look Onodera in the face, but failed because of the brown hair gently covering his face.

"Hey, look at me?" Takano tried to demand, but came out as a question. Onodera lifted his head slowly, and revealed his face to Takano. His mouth was stretched into a large, crazed smile. His eyes wide and pleading, Onodera began to giggle hysterically and struggled to get out of Takano's grasp. Even through Takano was shocked by Onodera's weird behavior, he held on tightly. Onodera started crying and laughing hysterically. His crazed face now had a pout to it.

"Make it stop." Onodera whispered.

"Make what stop?" Takano asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The voice..., Onodera started but his face went back to normal. He looked at the arm that Takano held onto and looked at Takano's face.

"Let go!" he demanded as he tried to yank his arm out of Takano's firm grasp.

"What's the voice?" Takano asked, eyes piercing into Onodera's. Onodera's eyes widened and he looked away.

"V...voice?" he asked innocently. "What are you talking about?"

"Your terrible at lying. Tell me what the "voice" is."

Onodera looked up at Takano.

"Promise you won't think I'm crazy?" Takano nodded. "I've been hearing a voice ever since last night. It was after you came in to check up on me. It's been talking to me all day. Repeating to me that I have committed a sin. I know this all sounds crazy and that you probably want to throw me into a loony bin. Just forget about it."

Takano tried to process what he was just told and pulled Onodera into a hug.

"I don't think your crazy." he told him reassuringly. Onodera snuggled into Takano's chest for a moment, but quickly pulled out of it.

"Thank you," Onodera said. "Let's go home."

They made their way to their own apartment's and both sat in their living rooms. Onodera gazed at his room of dirty laundry and Takano gazed at his spotless one. The voice had stopped talking to Onodera and he felt at peace. Until his phone rang. He picked it up put it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it me," Takano's voice replied. "I just wanted to tell you I love you."

Onodera's phone shook in his hand. "Don't say things like that."

"Why not?"

"Just don't do it."

"Why not?" Takano repeated himself. "I love you. So why can't I tell you that?"

"Don't say something like that," Onodera barked. He swerved his head around when he heard a knocking at his door. He got up and flung the door open. Takano stood there with his phone glued to his ear.

"Why can't I tell you I love you?" Takano asked.

"Because I'm a man."

"Like that changes anything. You love me too, so why don't you just admit it already?"

"I don't want to talk to you!" Onodera said as he slammed the door.

"Is this the thanks I get for comforting you?" Takano asked angrily. Onodera locked the door and walked away. Takano considered using the key he had, but decided against it. Why would want to see the spoiled brat right now anyway? Takano went back to his apartment. Onodera went to his kitchen and grabbed a glass cup, throwing it across the room. The sound of shattering calmed him and he sat down on the ground.

_I hate him. Why does he make me feel this way? I don't want to love him. Not now. I can't let myself fall in love. Not again..._

Onodera got up and walked over to his broken glass.

"_You sinful, worthless piece of garbage," the voice said. _

Onodera eyes widened with horror and he repressed a scream. He desperately looked around for the voice that had been haunting him all day.

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**Well, I finally finished it. Feel free to review. I now have an idea where I'm going to take this worthless story. Love you and have a nice day.**


	3. Chapter 3

Lazy Saturday mornings were Takano's favorite day of the week. He got to sleep in a little and harass Onodera. However, this Saturday morning was different from usual. To start with, Takano woke up to his phone ringing at 8:00 o'clock when he would normal sleep in till at least 9:00 or 10:00. Second, it was Onodera who was calling him. And third, Onodera had rather annoying news,

"What?" Takano growled into his phone.

"Hey Takano, it's Onodera. I'm sorry if I woke you up." he replied.

"It's fine. What do you want?" he asked as he got out bed and started getting dressed.

"I'm not going to be at work for a little while." Onodera said quietly.

"Why not?"

"I'm visiting my family. They've been demanding that I visit. I'm sorry." Takano could detect a slight quiver in his voice.

"You know your vacation time will be taken away because of this?"

"Yes. I apologize for my rudeness."

"Don't get so formal with me. Just expect a pile of work on your desk when I get back. Got it?"

"Yes. Thank you. Good bye." Onodera said, his voice unusually high.

"Bye."

Takano growled in frustration. Why did Onodera have to leave now? Takano was going to have so much fun teasing Onodera this weekend.

_Aw well. Guess it can't be helped. Was it just me or did Onodera sound weird over the phone? _Takano stretched as he pulled his shoes on and went to the kitchen, irritated by the extra work he would be doing until Onodera came back.

* * *

The phone was taken away from his ear the moment he was done talking with Takano.

"Well now that's settled, let's have a little fun. Hmmm?" a figure looming in front of Onodera said.

Onodera stared at the ground, anger pulsing through his veins.

_How dare he take me away from my apartment and drag me down here?_

_Flash back: _

Onodera got up and searched the room.

"I know I'm not crazy, so show yourself!" he shouted at the air.

_"Take out your earring."_

"Huh?"

_"Take out the earring. Look at it and the hold it your ear again"_

Onodera reached for his ear and took out the newly pierced earring. He looked at it, wondering why the voice had told him to check out the earring. Then he saw it. A tiny speaker was on the inside rim of the earring. He put it back to his ear and waited for the voice to talk to him again.

"_Look behind you."_

Onodera turned around only to be whacked in the head with something heavy. His sight grew fuzzy and black crept at the corners of his eyes. He fell down a tried to steal a peek at his attacker, but had already lost consciousness. When he awoke, a man wearing a hood placed Onodera's phone in his hand.

"This is how it's going down. I need you to call that boss of yours and tell him your going on vacation. And if you cry for help...,"  
he pulled out a gun and held it on the other side Onodera's head. "I blow your brains out."

Once Onodera dialed the number, the unknown person took it out of his hands and placed to Onodera's ear.

* * *

Now Onodera was sitting in a dark basement with some weirdo he didn't know.

"Well, Ritsu. Do you know what your sin is?" the man said as he sat down in front of Onodera, legs crossed. Onodera sniffled yawned, trying to show the man he braver than he felt. The man looked at him in disgust.

"People like you sicken me. People who don't understand their sin," his face changing into a happier one as he snapped handcuffs on Onodera. "Don't worry though. You'll learn it soon. You and I are going to have a lot of fun together. You can call me Smiley, cause I'll always have a smile on my face whenever I hurt you."


	4. Chapter 4

Onodera had been in the dark basement for a few days. The man hadn't come for a few days, not since he had told Onodera to call him Smiley. Onodera wasn't all that afraid of the dark but after he had come across rats and the constant drip of water, who wouldn't anyone be a little jumpy? The constant drip of water frightened him, every drop louder than the scurry of rats haunted his dreams and kept him from his sleep. Purple rings took their place under his eyes, shining brightly. When the door opened, his eyes shot over to it. He had tried escaping so many times before, but Smiley had chained him the wall.

"I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you lately, my little pet. I've had some business. But now, I have some food for you," Smiley said as he put a bowl of soup down for Onodera and bottle of water. "Try to keep it down."

Onodera raised an eyebrow but said nothing as he took the food, swallowing it down.

"Done? That's good," Smiley said clapping his hands together. "I'll be right back."

Onodera waited as Smiley left and cam back with a bag. Smiley reached in and smiled widely.

"Well, since I favor the whip, lets start with that? Actually, I think I use the the one of the knifes."

Onodera looked at Smiley in fear as he pulled out a small Swiss Army Knife and a needle out of his bag.

"Well, I think I should go easy on you." Smiley said as he injected it into Onodera's arm.

"Hey!" Onodera called out, but soon felt dizzy. Smiley helped Onodera up and chained him to the wall in a way to where he was standing up.

"Don't worry, It'll still hurt. The stuff I put in you won't do anything but keep you immobile." Smiley giggled as tore off Onodera's shirt. Smiley let the blade flip out and gently put it on the top of Onodera's chest. He started dragging it gently down Onodera's chest, but as he progressed he pressed harder. Onodera watched it all, fear pounding pulsing throughout his entire body. He watched paralyzed as blood started to drip down his stomach. At first a minor sting was felt, but then as Smiley put more force into it, it turned into a horrible burn. Smiley took the knife and went back to the top of the longest cut and ran down it again with the knife.

"Stop it!" Onodera shouted and tried to get away.

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**Sorry that this is so short and I left you with a cliffhanger. I'll do better next time. I just wanted to post another chapter ASAP and decided to just post what I've finished so far. Review and tell me how to perfect. I'm not really trying to write this well, and just do it for a quick writing practice. Enjoy.**


	5. Chapter 5

Every second, every minute, every hour, every day. Onodera couldn't take it anymore. It had been only a week and yet this man, Smiley, had complete control of Onodera. He had taken the reins and led Onodera down to a path he could not escape. Just one week and Onodera could hear everything but see nothing. The world he once knew was gone. He had lost the will to live. At first, he used to fight back. At first he would struggle to survive, but after sessions of torture, he couldn't take anymore. Smiley hadn't just destroyed his body, but his mind. As sick as it sounded, Onodera didn't dread the moment Smiley came. He actually looked forward to it, longed for it. Smiley was his only link to the real world. He was the only reason that Onodera wasn't dead yet. The pain was the only thing that kept him in his own body. The thread of his life tried to get away and Onodera wasn't fighting to hold onto them anymore. He wanted death more than anything, but for some reason couldn't find the will to.

_Why me? What did I do? I haven't done anything ?_

__Onodera felt tear roll from his dead eyes. His body shuddered as a sob erupted from his throat. He put his head into his shackled hands and wept. Anger, sadness, and confusion wracked through out his whole body.

_Why am I even still alive? What is the reason to live for anymore?_

__Onodera fell on his side and wailed. He hadn't cried like this ever before. Not even when he was being tortured. Not even when his heart was broken by...Takano. Onodera sat up and blinked, no longer crying.

_Takano? Is he the reason I'm still alive?_

__Onodera stared at the wall ahead of him, a new emotion surging in his belly.

_I can't die. Not now. Not when I just found Takano again. _

__Onodera scanned the room, looking for anything that could help him. He had tried this before, but maybe this time he'd find something. The only things in the room were rats, a broom, and the bag Smiley left in there. Onodera crawled across the room as far as he could, before the chains stopped him. His fingers inches from the bag.

"No," he croaked, his voice not being used in so long. "No!"

Onodera struggled to grab it, but was unsuccessful. He tried a reach it with his legs, but the door swung open. Smiley barged in, and tray in his hands. When he saw Onodera trying to get his bag, he threw the tray across the room and lunged at Onodera. Onodera, already weak because of Smiley's sadistic "fun", lost and the bag was thrown from his reach.

"Now now, little Ritsu. Your not going to get away that easily," Smiley growled as he dragged Onodera back to his spot against the wall. which was now covered in food. "I was going to feed you today but since it's all over the floor, how about you eat from there? If you don't eat it off the floor, you might not get much to eat. You never know when I'm going to feed you again."

Smiley grinned as he knelt down and reached to place a hand Onodera's forehead. Onodera pulled away from Smiley, anger now lighting his once dead eyes.

"Don't touch me!" Onodera tried to yell, but came out more like an angry whisper. Smiley pullled his hand away, surprise darting across his face for a moment.

"I thought I had already broken you. Guess not. Maybe I've been to easy on you," Smiley announced in a girlish tone. "However, I must say, the time I've spent with you is the most fun I've had with anyone before. Your screams just make me want to devour you. I'm so glad I stuck that speaker in your ear. I'm surprised you didn't notice until it was to late. Guess you really are a stupid boy."

"Wait. You put the speaker in my ear?" Onodera whispered.

"Well duh! Come on already Ritsu! I can't believe your this dense. I gave you plenty of warning that I was after you, even before the earring. Didn't you ever notice that dashingly handsome man following you?" Smiley asked, pointing at himself. "I've been here since Jr. High. We used to have classed together? All the hate mail you used to get as a kid?"

Onodera blinked at the man. Hate mail?

"Well, I guess none of that's important. What's important is that you knowledge your sin. Do you now realize it?" Smiley asked, a some what sad glare in his eyes.

Onodera had a pretty good idea, but shook his head. Smiley sighed and stood up.

"Ritsu, you will learn it. Sooner or later. But for now, lets have some fun. I've decided to try something a little new today." Smiley sat down excitedly and pushed Onodera to the floor.

"This is my first time doing this to man, but I get a good idea. I mean, I have seen it done before." Smiley said as he reached for Onodera's pants. Onodera stared at the ceiling, determined to not give this man satisfaction. Not anymore.

_I will escape this man._

Button unbuttoned.

_I will see not die._

Zipper down.

_I will see Takano again._

Pants off.

_I will live. _

__Onodera turned his head to the wall and saw a dull butter knife scattered among the food across the floor. He let ago of a small smile and let it vanish quickly.

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**Sorry. That was a little rushed and boring. Thanks for all the reviews so far and please keep reviewing. I have some fun writing this and I hope you guys have some fun reading it. LOVE YA!**


	6. Chapter 6

_"Uggggghhhhh..."_

Takano laid back in his chair, a book covering his face as usual. It wasn't like Onodera to leave a few days before before the end of the dead lines and usually Takano wouldn't have allowed him to go on vacation at all, especially at this time. But truth be told, Takano didn't want to talk or see Onodera for a while. Months of trying to get someone to confess their love, wouldn't anyone be tired? Takano refused to give up, but it was nice to have a break from it all. The extra work was quite tiresome, but it was worth it. Takano did miss Onodera, but they both deserved a vacation from each other.

"Takano!"

Takano sighed and took the book off his face, only to see Yokozawa hover in his view.

"What?" Takano asked as he sat up and looked over the manuscripts on his desk.

"I heard you gave one of you employee's a vacation." Yokozawa stated, arms crossed.

"Ya. Problem?" Takano asked, not paying attention.

"What might the occasion be?"

"Personal reasons."

"The why are they gone right now? Even though your in the middle of desperately trying to reach your deadlines? Don't your other employee's get breaks?" Yokozawa glared and leaned in closer to Takano.

"That's none of your business. What I do with my employee's is none of your concern." Takano sighed.

Yokozawa scowled and barged out of Emerald Department.

"He has a point you know." Kisa said as he typed quickly on his laptop.

"What was that?" Takano growled, reptilian eyes darted at Kisa.

"N...nothing boss." Kisa laughed nevously.

"That's what I thought. Get back to work."

_I shouldn't have allowed Onodera leave. Now everyone else is going to be bitching about this._

Takano sighed and went back to editing his author's manuscript.

* * *

Everyone had left, leaving Takano with Onodera's left over work.

_Maybe this wasn't as worth it as I thought. I'll punish Onodera the old fashioned way once he gets back._

Takano smirked at this thought and worked even faster, much more optimistic.

_Maybe I should call Onodera, to check on how he's doing?  
_As this question crossed his mind his phone rung. He picked it up and slid it in front of his ear.

"Hello. Takano Masamune, head chief editor of the Emerald Publishing Department. How may I help you?" Takano politely asked.

"Hello. Is Onodera Ristu in?" a familiar voice asked.

"Sorry. He is currently on vacation. May I ask who this is so I may inform him you called?"

"Vacation? Tell him when you can that he should have at least visited his mother when he was on break."

Takano froze. Onodera wasn't at his parents?

"I'm sorry. But he told me he was visiting his family."

"What? Ritsu hasn't visited us at all. That's just like him! Please tell him I called. Thank you for your time." Onodera's mother said as she hung up.

Despite what Onodera's mother had said, it wasn't like him at all. Takano laid back in his chair and crossed his arms. Where was his precious Onodera? Takano sat up and packed his things, deciding to finish his work the next day. As he got onto the elevator he took out his phone again and looked over his contacts until he found Onodera's name.

_Just what is he really doing?_

Takano clicked Onodera's name and waited for the ringing to stop and for Onodera to picked up. When he unsuccessful he tried again, and again. After the fifth time an operator's voice greeted him.

"_Sorry but this number is no long in use. Please try again in case you..." _

Takano hung up the phone and threw it in his bag.

_Where was Onodera?_

Looks like Smiley isn't as smart as he thinks he is.

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**Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Your reviews help me to come up with better idea's. I'm probably going to change the story's summary so I'll attract more readers. For those he have read my other stories, "Lovely Thoughts" is on a hold for a little while. Don't worry everyone, this story won't be as predicable as you may think. LOVE YA GUYS! I mean girls. Well, mostly girls. Hehehehehhe. I'm sexist. SORRY! **


	7. Chapter 7

The moment Smiley has left, Onodera lunged at the knife. Even though it was dull butter knife, it should cause some damage since it was metal. Onodera was desperate so even though this butter knife would probably be rejected by most people and scoffed at, to Onodera it was like a precious jewel. A jewel that exploded with hope and idea's. Onodera held the knife close to his chest and sighed. He glanced over at the pool of blood that had recently taken its place on the floor. Onodera felt the tears well up at his eyes as he looked at it. The tears dripped down his cheeks, each and everyone filled with passive color.

_ I will not allow him the satisfaction. No more. _

Onodera hid the butter knife in his shirt sleeve and laid down. His eyes drooped and he felt a numbing sensation wash over him completely.

* * *

Onodera felt a jab at his arm. He opened his eyes slowly, but closed them again when he saw Smiley.

"Now don't be like that." Smiley whined.

Onodera opened his eyes again. He tried to get up, but was shocked when he realized he had lost all feeling in his body. As he realized this and his eyes grew large, Smiley grinned.

"Don't worry. I just put some stuff into you so you couldn't move for a little while. I want to have some fun but it would be annoying to have you struggling in the middle of it."

Onodera stared at him with an emptiness. "What's it going to be this time?"

"Oh, trust me. You'll find out." Smiley said as he pulled an odd contraption from his bag. It looked similar to a box with sharp wires sticking out of it.  
Onodera looked at him confused when Smiley dug the needle sharp wires into his skin.

"Top technology," Smiley explained. "Its not going to hurt to much. It just going to send bolts of electricity through your body. Not enough, of course, to kill you. Unless of course you had metal on you."

Smiley grinned slyly as he lent forward.

"No, your pants don't have enough metal on them to kill you. However, if you have anymore metal on you that I might not know about, now is the time to give it up."

Onodera felt a helpless anger surge through him.

_He left it here on purpose. Damn bastard._

"Well Ritsu? Do you have anything you want to tell me?"

Onodera growled and narrowed his eyes.

"It's in my sleeve." he whispered.

"Huh? What was that?" Smiley asked as he put a hand to his ear.

"It's in my god damn sleeve!" Onodera screeched.

Smiley reached and pulled the knife out of Onodera's sleeve.

"Well, you didn't have to be so rude," Smiley pouted, until a mouthful of spit his eye. He then angrily retorted. "Let's begin."

He held the box in his hand and pushed a nob. Onodera felt a sudden charge run through his body. It wasn't painful, but it definitely wasn't comfortable.

"Not enough?" Smiley asked raising a brow. He took the nob in his fingers again and pushed all the way to the max as quickly as he could. The discomfort suddenly turned into a screaming pain. His blood felt as though it was boiling, he eyes lolled back into the back head and his body started to buck. He let a blood curling scream that echoed off the sound proof walls. Smiley turned the nob off and took the wires out of Onodera.

"Well. You've learned a lesson now. So don't do this again, okay?" he said as he put the contraption and knife into his bag. He got up and left Onodera to himself as he walked out the door.

...

Smiley walked out of the basement happily. He slung the bag over his shoulder and rubbed his hands together. He walked around the building that he was currently using as a prison for Onodera. When he reached the front of the building he bumped into another man.

"Sorry." he said as he tried to walked past the man. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned around to face the golden eyes and black hair.

"It no problem. Are you alright?" he asked Smiley. Smiley nodded.

_ "Oh the the sheer irony." _he thought as the man left him and walked into the building that Smiley had recently been in "._Don't worry Takano. I'm teaching your lover the right lessons."_

Takano disappeared behind the door and Smiley walked away, not letting a sadistic grin glue itself to his lips.

* * *

**Sorry that this is so super short, but I've got a new story brewing in this head of mine. Please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

Onodera lay in his spot, his stomach growling.

_Maybe my "sin" is being gay? _

_Smiley should be coming soon._

A couple hours later, Smiley did come.. He was already laying on the floor and closed his eyes when the door opened. Smiely pranced in, bag swinging by his side.

"Awww, little Ristu is sleeping," Smiley skipped over to him, throwing his bag to the floor and kneeled over him ." Come on Ritsu, we're going to have so much fun."

He placed a hand on Onodera's cheek and pulled back quickly. Onodera felt incredibly cold.

"Ritsu?" he asked as he poke and prodded at him. He grabbed Onodera's wrist to finda pulse. There was none. Smiley panicked.

"Hey this better not be a joke!" he shouted as he slapped his face repeatedly. "I'm not going to have any more fun anymore?"

Smiley frowned and let go of Onodera's wrist. His eyes narrowed and he slumped.

"Aw well. I guess I should probably get rid of your body now. It's too bad you never realized your sin"

He took the shackles off of Onodera and sighed as he dragged him across the floor and near the door. Smiley went back to his bag and looked around in it.

_Now's my chance._

The supposivly dead Onodera stood up and dashed at the door, only for arms to wrap around him.

"Your not going anywhere." Smiley hissed.

"I beg to differ."

"Huh?"

Onodera flung his head back and crashed into the face of Smiley. Smiley let out a howl and let go of Onodera with one arm. Onodera tried to stuggle out of Smiley's reach, and he did. That is, until he felt and sharp pain in his gut. He looked down to see a knife deeply wedged into his stomach and Smiley's hand awfully attached to it.

"You not going anywhere!" Smiley said as he pulled the knife and plunged it into Onodera again. Onodera screeched and grabbed at the knife. He succesfully grabbed it and flung it at Smiley's face. The blade didn't suceed in hitting him, but the hard handle did. Smiley looked dazed for a moment and fell to the floor as he eyes lolled back into his head.

Onodera grabbed his wound an held firmly on it, trying to make the bleeding stop. He trudged out the door and into the starry sky. He felt tears roll down his face as he stared at the beatiful sky.

_I thought I'd never see it again._

He looked down the Alley and dragged his feet to get to the end of it. He reached the open city, suprisingly vacant. He observed his surrounding and let out a dry laugh. In front of him was his apartment complex. He had been wishing nothing but to get home, and he was here the entire time. He opened the door to the lobby and made his way to the elevator. He heard a gasp behind him as he got into it.

_It doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is that I get to Takano. That's all that matters now._

* * *

**Sorry, that was also too short and rushed. I've just been writing another story all day, but I know I have to add a new chapter to this. I usually just type away, no story idea in my brain. But suddenly this new idea crept into my brain and I'm totally crazy for it! I even started writing it at school! I never do that. Anyway, if you've stayed with this ridiculous story this long, I'd like you to read my other story, "The Ocean See's All." It's much better than this one and not as dramatic and sinister as this one. Much more enjoyable. Please read and reviews. Plus it would be awesome if you read my other stories and review them. Love you guys!**


	9. Chapter 9

Takano tossed and turned in his bed, his eyes wide open.

Where's_ Ritsu? Did he leave me? Not_ again...

Takano heard a loud banging on his door. Sighing, Takano rolled out of bed a proceeded to drag his feet across the dark, dreary house.

_ Who would be coming here at 1:00 a.m in the morning?_

* * *

Onodera let out shaky, forced breaths as the elevator slowly descended.  
_I have to see him. One last time. Please god, just give me one last chance. Please?_

Onodera cried out in excitement as the doors finally open onto his floor. Staggering, he used the floor to support his dying vessel. His vision blurred as the pain in his stomach suddenly triple. He didn't even feel his body hit the floor. One moment he was standing, the next he was on the floor staring at Takano's door.

_I'm way to close. Not yet._

Onodera used the way to climb up to his swaying feet. The moment his entire body was up, his head began to swerve and his vision went fuzzy every few seconds. Using the wall, he made his way to the door and pounded on it. Onodera, in his unusual state, thought he should at least look presentable. After all, he was going to see his lover again. Maybe even for the last time.

Getting off the wall, he stood before the door and ran a sweaty hand through his messy hair. He used his jacket to cover the bleeding mess beneath it His legs shook and he felt dizziness run over him. The door creaked open and Onodera felt as though his heart was going to jump out of his chest. Takano, looking sexy even with a bed head, revealed himself to the battered Onodera.

"Onodera! What happened to you? You look like crap. Get in here," Takano gasped as he widened the door for Onodera to walk in. "I'll go get you some tea. Go sit down on the couch."

_Looks like I did a better job that I thought on hiding my condition. _Takano turned his back to Onodera and started to pace to the kitchen.

_No! He can't leave me. I just found him._

Reaching out, he made a step forward to grab his lover. Failing, his legs gave out and his small body hit the floor with a soft thud. That thud made Takano turn.

"Onodera? What's wrong?" he exclaimed as fell to his knees to examine his lover. Since Onodera's hand was groping at his stomach, Takano decided to roll him over. Takano started to roll Onodera over, but stopped when he received a loud yelp.

"Sorry!" he cried out as he pulled his hands away. "I need to see what's wrong so I'm going to roll you over."

Takano tried again and this time gently lifted his lover so he was on his back, but still received pained groans. A dark red stained the navy blue jacket that Onodera wore. Swearing under his breath, Takano ripped the jacket open. Crimson had already soaked through the dirty polo shirt. Takano's eyes widened and his breath grew heavy. Mentally, he took a step back and decided to study his lover's condition.

Onodera's jeans were ripped apart and his skin was covered in bruises. The blue polo shirt was also tattered and his lover's face was pale. A small bit of red gathered beneath his cheeks and a bruised had already formed on his cheek. Onodera's panted over and over, like a fish out of the water.

"Who did this to you?" he asked as he took off Onodera's shirt. He nearly puked when he saw the mess below him. Onodera's pale adomen was littered scars and horrible purple bruises danced their way to his chest. The worst of it, was two crude gashes that spewed blood non-stop onto his stomach. They had been stretched open and had no intention

"Who did this to you?" Takano asked, red pounding the backs of his eyes.

"It's not important who did it." Onodera croaked, his eyes fluttering.

"You can tell me later. I'm going to call an ambulance." Takano said as he reached for his phone and dialed. Takano took off his shirt and bundled his and Onodera's jacket and shirt together and pressed it onto Onodera's wounds. Onodera hissed as Takano talked to the people on the phone. Onodera squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again when he heard the phone snap shut. He transfixed his eyes and the golden eyes that treasured him with so much passion. The black hair that called to him with its allusiveness. The face that had always followed him with its beauty. Even on his ugly days when he yelled and demanded him around, Onodera couldn't help but fell hopelessly in love with the man.

"Takano?" Onodera asked.

"Yes Ritsu?" Takano asked as he closely pulled him into his arms.

"They're not going to make here in time." he answered, filling himself with the fumes of his beloved.

"Don't say that! There might not be any internal damage," Takano shouted, looking down at Onodera's face. "You can't leave me, so don't you dare think about not trying anymore."

"I can't. I'm sorry," Onodera sobbed, his heart breaking about the promise he would never be able to make.

"You have to. Just think about everyone else in the editing department. An-chan!" Takano panicked.

"Takano, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Onodera cried, clutching to Takano's bare chest.

"Please, please try." Takano begged, his eyes molded into worry.

"I...I'll try."

"Promise." Takano demanded.

"I'll try. I promise." Onodera sighed.

"Don't half ass it." Takano joked.  
Onodera laugh half-heartedly. Snuggling into his chest, he felt Takano lean back against the wall and place a hand over the clothes on Onodera's stomach, to apply pressure.

"Masamune?" Onodera asked, his voice quiet.

"You called me by my first name?" Takano asked.

"Can w...we kiss?" he asked ignoring Takano's comment, his blushing face looking directly at Takano's. A suprised look crossed Takano's face, but it quickly turned into a soft smile.

"Of course we can." Takano said as he brought their two faces together for a sad, but sweet kiss. Pulling away, Onodera looked at Takano with tired eyes.

"I can barely see you." Onodera announced, tears slipping out his green eyes.

"I'm sorry, but please try to stay awake." Takano asked, clutching tightly to Onodera.

"I..I can't anymore." Onodera cried, his head on Takano's chest. He felt his eyes start to close.

"Masamune..."

Eyes drooping.

"I truly..."

Half way.

"Will..."

One quarter.

"And always have..."  
Completely shut.

"Lo..."  
Drifting away.

"Looovv..."

Gone.

Takano blinked.

"Looovv" he asked. "Onodera?"

"Onodera? Why aren't you talking anymore?"  
Takano cried. "Why aren't you moving?"

* * *

**Dun Dun Dun. Sorry it took so long to post. I got really sick and couldn't get out of bed for a while there. Sorry. I hope you enjoyed this chapter that I typed up in 40 minutes. It was fun to write. It Onodera dead? Is he alive? Where is he? Find out in the next chapter. That's right people, there's more. MAHHAHAHAHHA. Please review. Love ya!**


	10. Chapter 10

Bleak eyes came face to face with a daunting light.

_That's odd. Smiley doesn't like light coming into here. _

Onodera turned his head over to the hospital room.

_Where am I?_

Onodera studied the cheaply painted walls and the ancient chairs that stood near the door. Looking to his side he saw two doctors standing behind Takano who had his head in his hands. Takano had his head on the bed and continued to let out strangled sobs. A loud buzzing sound chimed in Onodera's head as the memories rushed back.

"Takano?" he whispered only for Takano to continue to cry on his bed.

"Masamune?" he tried again. Takano's face lifted up and stared at Onodera with a heartbreaking look in his eyes. Sniffling, Takano slammed his head back into the colorless sheets. The ringing in Onodera's head increased.

One of the doctors put a hand on Takano's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," the doctor said, eyes on a clipboard. "But Mr. Onodera didn't make it."

Takano howled, shoving his face deeper into the blankets.

"What are you talking about?" Onodera gasped. "I'm right here!Look!"

Onodera waved his hands in front of the blind doctor. Instead of Onodera's hands landing on the doctor's face, they fell through him, as did the rest of his body. Now lying on the floor, Onodera stared at his own heart beat as it beeped nonstop. Onodera stood up shakily and stared at himself on the bed. His body stared lifelessly at him, unmoving.

"No… No… No!" Onodera screamed. Onodera reached for Takano's shaking shoulders, but his hands faded away. Tears streaming, Onodera screeched, punching Takano in the back several times.

"I'm right here!" Onodera screamed. "I thought you loved me! If you love me, then hear me!"

Onodera fell to the floor and smashed his head into it.

"What? Won't let me go to hell?" he yelled at the floor when his head failed to go through it. "Oh yeah, that's right. I'm already here!"

Onodera looked up at his lover as Takano held the now dead Onodera, hand.

"Wake up," Takano begged. "Come on. I love you. You can't go now."

"Mr. Takano, there's nothing more you can do," a blond doctors assumed. "He's gone now."

Takano lifted himself up and lowered his shaggy head.

"I understand." Takano said as he felt himself go into shock.

"Why don't you go back to your apartment? The police are done with cleaning it up and we'll deal Mr. Onodera's body for you. Don't worry, for now you need to rest." the taller of the doctors said, his cobalt eyes stared pitifully at the young man.

"I understand." Takano repeated, walking out of the door.

"Poor guy." the taller doctor said. The other doctor stared at him, his face blank.

"Get back to work." the blond doctor said sternly.

Onodera stared at the door.

"Takano?" he mouthed. "Where are you going?"

Onodera stood up and ran out the door. A laughter began and Onodera started running faster.

"Takano!" he called out. The hallway became dark as the faces of the people in the hallways twisted into something abnormal. Their faces melted with smiles and they all pointed at him. A voice started in Onodera's head.

_"Where do you_ _think you're going? There's nowhere to run, you're already dead." the voice taunted. _

"No!"Onodera ran faster. "This isn't real. No!"

_What's going on?_

** Alright people. Sorry for short chapter, I wanted to give you guys a chapter. Enjoy!**


	11. Chapter 11

Soft cushions welcomed Onodera's weary head. Eyes stung as the messy room was admired by the dead eyes of a lost man. Papers fought for dominance on top of the smelly clothes than threatened to live once more at any moment. A light blinked on and off every few minutes, as if it was trying to stop itself from seeing the disaster before it.

_I…is this Takano's room?_

Cold feet dodged oncoming attacks as they made their way to the prepared door. Onodera tip toed his way to the dim hallway. Alcoholic fumes relentlessly stabbed at the red nose and faded velvet green eyes.

_ Damn. Is this really Takano's apartment?_

Onodera coughed as he made his way through the hall and into an unpleasant site. Takano lay on the floor, beer bottle in one hand and eviction notices in the other.  
"T…takano?" he asked. Takano rolled over and snored away. "Hey Takano, what are you doing?"

Takano ignorance slept on. Onodera blinked at his surroundings.

"Hey Takano, aren't I suppose to be at the hospital?" he asked as he sat on the ripped couch. "Am I really dead? This can't be. It's impossible. I didn't get to tell you I love you."

Onodera stared at his lover's face, the bristles of an beard making themselves known.

"Why did it come to this? I didn't do anything." he sighed as he effortless caressed a lock of Takano's hair.

"Wait," Onodera pulled away. "This shouldn't be happening. Does this mean I really am alive?"

Onodera tried to grab the beer stained coat and shake Takano, only for his hands to go through him again.

"I really am dead," he sweetly whispered, but then screamed. "Why god? I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything, damn it!"

"Shut up." Takano mumbled.

A brown mass swerved over to the precious drunk.

"Takano?" Onodera heaved. "You can hear me?"

"So loud…" Takano mumbled.

"I'm sorry." Onodera laughed, a smile stalking the hopeful face. Onodera rubbed his eyes as he leaned forward. Takano began to snore once again.

"Takano? You can't fall asleep!"

Takano shot up, blood shot eyes desperately searching.

"Ritsu?" he asked. "Where are you?"

"I'm right here!" Onodera screamed.

"Ritsu?" Takano laughed. "You still haunt me with that voice of yours, even after death."

Takano let of a few more gasps of laughter before the eyes, the same color of the beer that continued to surround the old vessel, let out an ocean of tears.

"You're just as dead as me, aren't you?" Onodera sobbed.

A laughter filled the messy room, the same of a injured animal. One and the same.

**Wanted to post another chapter for you guys before I go to bed. Well, here you go and please review. After my mom advised me on how to write this better, I decided to try one more chapter. Sorry its short. LOVE YA AND PLEASE REVIEW!**


	12. Chapter 12

It had been a month since the last incidence. Onodera had been traveling time, every time he did he went a few days further. And every time he began to fade. Onodera tried every night to speak to Takano, but it always failed. Still, he refused to give up.

Every night Takano would come home later than the night before, only to drown in the sweet release of alcohol. Onodera had yet to see Takano cry so Onodera stopped crying himself.

This night was different. Takano came home much later, around 1 am in the morning. Onodera ran to the door anxiously only to meet the woman draped around his arm.

"I'll make you forget all about him," the woman seduced. "Even if you are drunk, I'm sure you can give a good fuck."

Takano mumbled something as the woman led them through the house. Onodera followed the two as Takano fell on top of the woman in the bed.

"Wait, you wouldn't do this, right?" Onodera asked himself, walking toward the bed. Takano soon brought the woman in a lustful kiss, no love or passion.

The woman giggled as Takano brought his hand down her breasts, cradling them.

"No. No. No" Onodera whispered, anger soon boiling in him when Takano took her shirt off.

"No!" Onodera screamed, lungs gasping as his fists fell through Takano's now bare back.

"No! How dare you! YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME YOU GOD DAMNED BASTARD!" he screeched, crimson blocking his vision. Takano's head swerved around as he brought his head from the women's neck and towards Onodera.

"I think you should go," Takano whispered. "Sorry."

The woman sat up and huffed.

"You owe me." she hissed, bringing her shirt back on and ran out the door. Once the front door slammed shut, Takano's head stared in Onodera's direction.

"Thank god she's gone," Onodera said to himself as he sat down and looked at Takano who was now sitting in front of him. Onodera smiled.

"If only you could see me," Onodera cried out as tears rolled to the floor. "I miss you so much, god damn it."

Onodera ducked his head from Takano's stunning face, his body now shaking.

"Ritsu?" Takano asked. Onodera brought his head up as Takano started crawling towards him.

"_This had gotta be a dream."  
_ "Ritsu, is that really you?" Takano asked, setting a hand on Onodera's knee. Onodera's mouth dropped.

** Sorry that this is so short. I've been working on the Ocean See's All. Please check it out? It's a little more romantic and plus I've got big plans for it. I just wanted to give you guys a little chapter, but I'll start working on the longer chapter soon. Sorry and please review. It makes me happy!**


	13. Chapter 13

"_This has to be a dream." _the two thought in sync.

"You can see me?" Onodera gasped.

"I can see you?" Takano asked, clasping his hands on either sides of Onodera's face. "You're here? You're really here!"

Onodera smiled, tears never ending. Onodera jumped at the man, wrapping around Takano's firm body.

"Don't ever disappear again!" Takano demanded, embracing the smaller of the two tighter.

"I don't want to." Onodera whispered.

Sitting there, the two held each other as the world repaired itself.

"I love you." Takano whispered.

Onodera blinked, bringing his head from Takano's chest and looking the other in the eye.

" I lo…" Onodera wished he could finish. Black wisps of smoke snuck in on the moment, descending from above them.

"What's that?" Takano asked.

"I don't know," Onodera shuttered. "But I think it's here for me."

"I'm not letting it take you away." Takano growled, rolling over on top of Onodera with the same protective glare of a mama bear.

Onodera stared at the smoke as it drifted on top of Takano's back.

"Takano..." Onodera started, fear racing through them.

"Shh." Takano smiled, eyes twinkling sorrow on others face.

The wisps grew arms and slithered through Takano. Still holding onto Onodera, the dark haired knight grunted.

"Takano!" Onodera exclaimed, anger shook the brunets body.

The wisps wrapped around Onodera, Takano falling right to ground as Onodera frail body was lifted. Turning around, their eyes met, dying together as Onodera disappered. Even though Takano's voice still rung through the depths of the wispy cloud, Onodera could hold on no longer and the feeling conciousness left.

* * *

_Where am I?_

_C_old hit Onodera's body as he sat up.

"Takano?" he asked, searching the empty, black room.

"_Don't worry about him, he's fine."_ a familiar voice called out.

"Where is he?" Onodera demanded. The voice sighed as a moving image flew out in front of Onodera's body. Similar to a TV, it showed Takano laying on the floor. The man eyes were empty, unmoving as the ceiling stared back. Takano's skin looked cold, the reddish tint in his cheeks was gone. Those beautiful gold eyes were so disturbing, so unlike what they should look like.

"I...is he...dead?" Onodera questioned the air.

"I guess you could say that," it replied. "After all, the black mist went through him."

"You killed him!" Onodera screeched, fists pounding on the floor.

"It's your own fault, dumbass," the air sighed. "Human's can't live when the mist touches them."

Onodera was to angry to be confused.

"I don't care! Bring him back."

"Only you can do that," the voice sighed again. "What's you sin?"

"Sin?"

"Yes, your sin. What is it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Onodera got up, the "TV" following to be at the same level.

"You still haven't realized it?"

"Is it being gay?" Onodera asked, staring into Takano's deathly eyes.

"No." the voice nearly shouted. "Why would being gay be a sin?"

"W...well, I read it in a book." Onodera felt embarrassment fill into his guts.

"Religion has nothing to do with it!" the voice shouted.

"Then what the hell is my sin!?" Onodera shouted back, fists formed and eyes darting from side to side.

"Ritsu, you know it as well as I do." the ground shook, balance nearly leaving Onodera limbs.

"No I don't," Onodera sobbed. " I really don't!"

The translucent screen played a new image, but not an unknown one. Takano sat in a shower, clothes still on but water running. Takano was hunched over in a weird position, head in knees.

"What exactly is this?" Onodera moaned in frustration.

"Shhh. It's a memory of when you were alive." the voice hushed. The image shift as Takano raised his head. Tears mixed with the shower water and Takano's body started to rattle.

"Why won't he love me?" Takano question the water. "I want to be forgiven. I love him so much, but he won't forgive me. What do I do?"

_He never cried when I was alive._

"Now you do understand you sin?" it asked.

"I...I think so..." Onodera stuttered.

"Fix it then."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. I'll send you back, before all of this happened. But, you have to fix what you failed to fix before." the voice laughed.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because, it took you so long. Good bye Ritsu~chan."

"Wait, Smiley?" Onodera gasped, the voice finally clicked. "I'm not done. I still have questions!"

"They don't need to be answered. Goodbye Ritsu."

"Wait!" Too late. The world faded into new colors, Smileys sad laughter disappearing.

**Had to redo this for you guys. I read it over and thought it need alot of TLC. So, hope you guys like this one better. For those who are reading my other story, "The Oceans Sea's All," I will be changing the title. I'll warn you in the next update of it and tell you what it's new name it called.**


	14. Chapter 14

** Sorry, it's not an update. I just wanted to say that I fxed the last chapter and made a lot of changes, so please read it! There will be an update very soon. **


	15. Chapter 15

Even though the ceiling was bland, it still succeeded in waking up Onodera.

"Smiley!" he shouted and blinked at the room.

_My room?_

Light pooled into the bedroom, the messy room greeting it. In disbelief, Onodera patted down his body.

_I'm alive?_

As to confirm it, Onodera burst out of the room, nearly tripping over the many clothes that led to the door. Only in sweatpants, Onodera ran down the hall and froze at Takano's door.

Ignoring the chances, Onodera pounded furiously on the door. When the door refused to open, Onodera pounded even harder.

"Open the goddamn door!" Onodera screeched. "Get out here; you have to see me this time!"

Groaning, Takano's messy bed head appeared as the door swung open.

"Why the racket? You're never up this early," Takano moaned but noticed the tears in the brunets eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I love you!" Onodera exclaimed, knocking them both to the ground.

"What?" Takano blinked, lifting Onodera off his chest to see if the man was joking.

"I love you!" Onodera cried, a smile still planted firmly.

Takano became speechless as the brunet embraced the other tightly and repeated the simple words again and again.

"Why are you saying this now?" Takano questioned, caressing brown locks in his firm fingers.

"I'm so sorry. I love you so much," Onodera cried. "I never want to leave you. Ever!"

"I love you too." Takano laughed. "I don't want to leave you either. Not ever."

The couple never did notice Smiley wave outside the 14 story building and disappear.

**Okay people. I think this is the short end. This is the first time I ever finished a story. Woohoo me! Didn't edit it(since when have I ever) so there will be mistakes. Please enjoy and review. I am currently working on a story called "The Ocean See's All," so please check it out. It's a little predictable, but not for long. Mahahahhahahaha.**


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